the perpetual rush: overcoming productivity anxiety and learning to slow down
Lately, I’ve noticed a persistent hum beneath everything I do: I am always in a rush.
I find myself constantly looking toward the next task, almost obsessed with productivity. This "hurry sickness" likely developed as a survival mechanism. Over the years, as we added one baby, then another, and then another to our family, my time became a scarce commodity. Time for myself and my creative pursuits was few and far between.
Somewhere in that beautiful chaos, I started rushing through everything. Now, even though my life has shifted into a new phase where I seem to be able to find little pockets of time for myself, I’m noticing that this feeling of urgency has become my body’s default setting.
The Physical Toll of Always Being in a Hurry
I see it in the smallest, most quiet moments. The most glaring example is when I sit down to eat a meal—even if I am finally sitting by myself—I hardly take a moment to breathe. It’s as if I’m just rushing to get the food down.
For years, I truly didn’t have a quiet moment to eat, but I do now. So why does my body still feel this urgency?
This constant "rushing to the next stopping point" brings a heavy feeling of anxiety. Lately, I’ve been researching nervous system regulation and what the body actually needs to feel safe. To rest deeply, heal, and restore, we have to move out of that "fight or flight" urgency and into a state of true presence.
Choosing Slow Living Over Constant Productivity
One of the main reasons I transitioned from my career in the Air Force to becoming a stay-at-home mom was to create a home life where we could embrace slow living. I wanted to be present for the things that naturally take time:
Preparing a home-cooked meal for my family.
Tending a garden with my son.
Watching him play in the sandbox without checking a clock or needing to be somewhere.
So, where along the way did I lose my ability to just be? I mean, learning to slow down and make time to CREATE by painting with watercolors was what lead to everything I've been building here in the first place. Slowing down my personal life is what allowed me to find the focus to build my portraiture business and the Live Guest Portrait Guide for other artists who want to get started painting at Atlanta luxury weddings and events like I have.
I’ve realized that this urgency is a form of being obsessed with the "next task." It’s like having too many tabs open on a browser. I need to find the ability to be content again with just one tab open.
Trusting the Timing of Your Life
I want to be more like my kids today. I want to practice being exactly where I am, without mentally writing an email or performing the next task on my to-do list in my head.
I am learning to trust that there is time for all of the creative dreams I have down the road. There is time for all of it. There is no need to rush.
If you’ve been feeling that same "productivity guilt" or the hum of a restless nervous system, I want to encourage you to close a few tabs today. Let’s practice just being there—wherever "there" happens to be.